The Purpose Driven Life

February 5, 2008

I started reading The Purpose Driven Life today. This time, because I started reading it my senior year of college when everything was great and then put it down, I'm going to read it for 40 days like I'm supposed to. I should find a partner to read it with me, but my blog is going to be my partner with whom I can discuss my thoughts and feelings with.

I prayed this morning to God asking him to direct my path, take out whoever and whatever is in my life that is toxic. I am feeling tons of weight lifted off my shoulders as we speak. Mindy gave me some great advice yesterday, because I just needed to realize that no matter what happens, God has my back! I have not been thankful nor grateful enough for the blessings that he has bestowed upon me. Things could definately be much worse. So, I'm going to praise God for everything that he has given me, shown me, brought me to, and those that he is continuously bringing me through.

This internal emotional battle with myself and Pierre, will not be resolved overnight, but each day as I grow older, that battle should be diminishing. I have been keeping myself stuck in a rut. Singing a sad song, living a sad life. No more! The devil is a liar! He WILL NOT continue to bring me down, make me feel worthless, feel bad. I WILL feel happy. I AM happy. I LOVE ME!

I will be using this blog as a journal while reading the book. Over the course of this 40 day detox, is what I call it, hopefully I will be a NEW person, a better me, a better mother, a better friend, a better person. I will be able to have feelings, but not let my feelings control me and consume me. I tend to be too emotional, and now I need to be emotionless with those who have disconnected with me. Things will be better. I have faith, I believe, I am living the better, and the BEST is YET TO COME!